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A place where people can meet Jesus, engage in life-giving community, and everyone is welcome. We desire to help others have authentic encounters with Christ, discover their gifts and use them for God's glory.

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What The Bible Says - Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

What The Bible Says - Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

What The Bible Says Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

What The Bible Says Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

KJV, King James, Baptist, Bible, Soul Winning, Independent, Old Fashioned.

KJV, King James, Baptist, Bible, Soul Winning, Independent, Old Fashioned.

KJV, King James, Baptist, Bible, Soul Winning, Independent, Old Fashioned.

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Church leaders can offer clear moral and ethical guidance for a practice that violates biblical mandates.On April 8, the Vatican issued Dignitas Infinita, a 20-page document rejecting a variety of practices that violate human dignity. Unsurprisingly, these included human trafficking, violence against women, abortion, euthanasia, sex change, and child abuse. It also included surrogacy.This isn’t the first time the pontificate has come out against this “deplorable” practice, which “fails to respect the dignity of [the] child” and “violates the dignity of the woman.” Pope Francis made waves in January when he condemned surrogacy, noting that “a child is always a gift and never the basis of a commercial contract.”Evangelical Christians and pastors value the life of the unborn. That’s why we march across the capital on freezing January mornings and pray outside of abortion clinics. Our motivation for child protection must also lead us to confront the ways children are impacted by the baby-making industry as well.But when did you last hear your pastor address the issue of surrogacy from the pulpit? Odds are, never. Protestants have a dearth of official guidance on reproductive technologies. While some are clear on abortion, very few denominations have clear teachings on IVF, let alone the much rarer practice of surrogacy.Southern Baptist Theological Seminary ethics professor Andrew T. Walker told The New York Times that when he suggested introducing a resolution about artificial reproductive technology at the denomination’s annual convention, his colleagues hesitated.Some Christians are directly involved in surrogacy and see their role as a calling to help families have children, as CT reported in 2018. But many Christian bioethicists cite ...Continue reading...

? Temple Baptist Church - 4-17-2024John 15:11? Introduction:? A.? In verse 11, we find two kinds of “Joy.”? ? 1.? My Joy.? “remain in you”? A Joy that is found ONLY in Jesus Christ!? ? a)? The Joy of Salvation.? The Joy of Sanctification.? The Joy of Security.? The Joy of Serving.? ? b)? The Key words are “remain in” which implies that the joy of God is given to every believer and can be removed by the believer.? ? ? ? c)? “Living for Jesus” is a song that describes our Joy that is found in abiding in Jesus Christ:? Living for Jesus, a life that is true,Striving to please Him in all that I do;Yielding allegiance, glad-hearted and free,This is the pathway of blessing for me.Refrain:O Jesus, Lord and Savior, I give myself to Thee,For Thou, in Thy atonement, didst give Thyself for me;I own no other Master, my heart shall be Thy throne;My life I give, henceforth to live, O Christ, for Thee alone.Living for Jesus Who died in my place,Bearing on Calv'ry my sin and disgrace;Such love constrains me to answer His call,Follow His leading and give Him my all.Living for Jesus, wherever I am,Doing each duty in His holy Name;Willing to suffer affliction and loss,Deeming each trial a part of my cross.Living for Jesus through earth's little while,My dearest treasure, the light of His smile;Seeking the lost ones He died to redeem,Bringing the weary to find rest in Him.2.? Your Joy.? The key words here are “be full.”? The implication here is that the believer can have Joy to some degree and still not have fulness of Joy.? To have fulness of Joy is totally tied to the “My Joy” that is found only in our abiding in Christ.? “I had rather be an old time Christian that anything I know!”? Nehemiah 8:10? Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.? 3.? “Your Joy!”? I hear so much “Woe is me” preaching in our day.? People live lives of quiet desperation because of circumstances while God wants His people to enjoy life!? He wants them to enjoy His creation!? Proverbs 15:13? A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.? Proverbs 17:22? A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.? Ecclesiastes 2:24? There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.? Ecclesiastes 3:10-13? I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.? (11)? He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.? (12)? I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.? (13)? And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.? Ecclesiastes 3:22? Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?? Ecclesiastes 5:18-19? Behold that which I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion.? (19)? Every man also to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice in his labour; this is the gift of God.? Ecclesiastes 8:15? Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.? Ecclesiastes 9:7-9? Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works.? (8)? Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment.? (9)? Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.? B.? What is this joy of Christ?? I want to look at the best definition that I have ever seen, and it comes from your Bible because “My Joy” is not found in our circumstances which are subject to change.? It is completely found in the “God of my salvation” and the “God … my strength!”? *** Habakkuk 3:17-19? Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: ? (18)? Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. ? (19)? The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.? 1.? In these verses, we find both the “Cause” and “Effect” of the Christian's Joy.? The cause and effect is certainly not found in our circumstances as our days are so full for sin and sorrow!? Noah's Day, Lot's Day, Falling Away Days, Laodicean Days, Perilous Times all work together in our day to cause God's people to fret and fear.? Habakkuk used the word “Yet” to introduce “I will rejoice” and “I will joy!”? 2.? In Verses 18-19, we find the Cause of Joy:? a)? The God of my Salvation.? True Christian Joy comes from God in the form of Eternal Salvation.? John 15:13? Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.? b)? The LORD God, my Strength.? True Christian Joy is maintained in the spiritual Strength that comes from God, not circumstances.? John 15:5? I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.? 4.? In Verses 17-18, we find the Effect of Joy:? a)? Though things go wrong, and they do; though life is hard, and it is:? b)? Rejoicing comes from our inner fountain of Joy.? ? ? ? ? ? ? 5.? There was a day when praise and rejoicing were spontaneous, not something “worked up” by emotion.? “Popcorn Testimonies” have become a thing of the past.? We need to get our Joy back and Rejoicing will follow without having to be stirred or worked up.? Rejoicing is more than an emotion; it is a realization brought about by relationship and remembrance!? 6.? We live in days when pastors feel the necessity to stir our emotions with fleshly music and preaching as to produce rejoicing.? Thus, they become Promoters—not Pastors, Entertainers—not Preachers.? ? a.? A Pastor is none of these things.? He is to feed the flock of God, not stir them up.? Churches now have “Praise Leaders!”? ? b.? I find that preaching the Word is a divider because the Word brings about the knowledge of sin, the need for repentance, and division from the world.? c.? Rejoicing should be a spontaneous result of an inner Joy found in the Lord.? Rejoicing is a product of that inward Joy, not the cause of Joy.? Romans 12:12? ? Rejoicing in hope;? patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;? Philippians 3:1? ? Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord.? To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe.? Philippians 4:4? ? Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.? 7.? The hymns of the Faith no longer cause Rejoicing, so the modern day “church” is now in the “Entertainment Business” instead of reproving, rebuking, and Exhorting with all longsuffering and doctrine.? Modern day preaching and music reflect the world because most professing “Christians” are more worldly than spiritual.? C.? Both rejoicing and joy are to be despite our circumstances, not because of them!? Most Christians live in discouragement with little joy.? ? Why?? The answer is simple.? 1.? Because Of Sinfulness - Matthew 24:12? And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.? ? (God's people are not drunks and harlots, but sin creeps in and we now walk at a guilty distance from God and the joy is gone.)? 2.? Because Of Our Situations - Matthew 14:30? But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.? ? (God's people have their eyes upon the “wind and waves” of circumstance and not upon Christ.? When Peter looked up instead of looking down, he saw the Lord of the “wind and waves” and once again walked on the water.)? D.? Many Christians live in defeat with no joy at all.? 1.? For The World, Joy Is Found In Circumstances – Luke 12:16-21? And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:? And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.? ? And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.? But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?? So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.? 2.? For The Christian, Joy Is Found Despite Circumstances - 2 Corinthians 7:4? Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my glorying of you: I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.? 2 Corinthians 8:2? How that? in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty? abounded unto the riches of their liberality.Colossians 1:11? Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power,? unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;? 1 Thessalonians 1:6? And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord,? having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:? E.? Loss of joy comes through:? 1.? Losing the freshness of our salvation.? 2.? Losing the burning love for our Saviour.? 3.? Losing the excitement of our service.? WHERE THE CHRISTIAN FINDS HIS JOY? 1.? Christian Joy Is Found In Salvation - Luke 10:20? Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.? Psalms 35:9? And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall? rejoice in his salvation.? Psalms 51:12? Restore unto me? the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.? Psalms 132:16? I will also clothe her priests? with? salvation: and her saints shall shout aloud for joy.? Isaiah 12:3? Therefore? with joy? shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.? 2.? Christian Joy Is Found In The Holy Ghost - Romans 15:13? Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,? that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.? Joy Is Not Found In The Things Of The World - Romans 14:17? For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink;? but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.? 3.? Christian Joy Is Found In God's Word - Nehemiah 8:9-12? And Nehemia

? Temple Baptist Church - 4-7-2024Hebrews 13:1? Introduction:? A.? Chapter 13 is the “capstone” of the Book of Hebrews.? ? 1.? As all Hebrew Christian Epistles, the Book of Hebrews is a transitional book.? ? 2.? By interpretation, the Book of Hebrews is written to the Jewish believer.? ? 1 Peter 1:1? Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,? 3.? By application, the Book of Hebrews is written to every believer.? B.? It helped the Jewish believers transition:? 1.? From the Old Covenant to the New Covenant? 2.? From Law to Grace? 3.? From Mount Saini to Mount Zion? 4.? From “DO” to “Done”? 5.? From Atonement to Propitiation? 6.? From the Temple to the Local Church? 7.? From the Levitical Priesthood to the Individual Priesthood of the Believer? 8.? From the Mediation of Moses to the Mediation of Christ? 9.? From Individualism to Corporatism.? ? 10.? From Abraham's Bosom to Heaven? C.? Chapter 13 is all about the unity and innerworkings of the local church and the individual responsibilities within the body to each other, to the pastor, and to the church.? ? Paul begins this chapter with the “tie that binds our hearts in Christian love.”? The spiritual “glue” that holds together the individual pieces, believers, into a single piece, the local church.? Hebrews 13:1? Let brotherly love continue.? (Let or let not!? Let means to allow something to take place that would not naturally occur.)? 1.? In order to continue in love, you must start in love.? ? 1 John 4:7-8? Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.? (8)? He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.? 1 John 5:1? Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him.? a.? So many profession believers have no real desire to be close to those who possess salvation.? You can tell by their desire to assemble or lack thereof.? You can tell by their distancing or closeness.? b.? They come to church because they feel that they must to be right with God but have no love for the church nor its people.? c.? “Have you started right?” is a question that needs to be answered as eternity hinges on it.? D. Temple Baptist Church cannot have unity, nor can it survive without Christian love permeating its pews.? The Bible says so much about this love that must continue so, let's let God define brotherly love for us.? John 13:34-35? A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.? (35)? By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.? John 15:17? These things I command you, that ye love one another.? Acts 2:1? And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.? Acts 2:46-47? And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart,? (47)? Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.? Acts 4:32? And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.? Romans 12:9-10? Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.? (10)? Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;? Galatians 5:13? For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.? 1 Thessalonians 4:9? But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.? 2 Thessalonians 1:3? We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth;? 1 Peter 1:22? Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:? 1 Peter 3:8-9? Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:? (9)? Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.? 1 Peter 4:8? And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.? 2 Peter 1:5-8? And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;? (6)? And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;? (7)? And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.? (8)? For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.? 1 John 2:7-10? Brethren, I write no new commandment unto you, but an old commandment which ye had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word which ye have heard from the beginning.? (8)? Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth.? (9)? He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.? (10)? He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.? E.? Brotherly love is also found in the word? charity.? ? 1 John 4:7-8, 12? ? (3)? Beloved, let us love one another:? (1)? for love is of God; and (8)? He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love ... ? (12)? No man hath seen God at any time.? (2)? ? If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.? 1.? Brotherly love issues from God –? “for love is of God”? 2.? Brotherly love is instilled in the believer by God –? “If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”? 3.? Brotherly love must be maintained by the believer –? “Beloved, let us love one another:”? F.? Brotherly love must be a universal love, a consistent love, an overlooking love, an equal love of the brethren.? ? 1.? Brotherly love has nothing to do with social status.? 2.? Brotherly love has nothing to do with financial clout.? 3.? Brotherly love has nothing to do with ethnicity.? 4.? Brotherly love has nothing to do with gender.? 5.? Brotherly love has nothing to do with faithfulness.? 6.? Brotherly love is uniform from the pulpit to the pew.? From the pew to the pulpit.? From the back pew to the front pew.? ? G.? 1 Corinthians gives a Biblical definition of Charity or Brotherly Love.? I will not take the time to do a verse by verse exposition of chapter 13 but will give you the gist of it.? Brotherly love is the binding love of the brethren.? It is what holds the local church together.? ? 1.? Charity is longsuffering.? 2.? Charity is kind.? 3.? Charity is unselfish.? 4.? Charity behaves itself.? 5.? Charity is overlooking.? 6.? Charity hates evil but not the sinner.? 7.? Charity loves in truth.? H.? ? Brotherly love? is an unfailing love.? Times change but biblical charity endures.? 1.? In 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, Paul names three remaining gifts: faith, hope and charity.? 1 Corinthians 13:13? And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.? 2.? The greatest of the three remaining gifts is charity: brotherly love.? Our faith and our hope are anchored in the greatest of the three, Charity.? 3.? Over these past 37 years, we have had a multitude of people come THROUGH our church.? We were not what they were looking for!? Our church has endured a lot of things: trials, division, etc.? ? BUT? our church has endured because of its love for Christ and love for one another!? 4.? ? “LET BROTHERLY LOVE CONTINUE!”? ? I do not know what the future holds for Temple Baptist Church, but I do know that our love for Christ and each other will carry us through whatever comes our way.? a)? Let means that brotherly love may or may not continue.? Think about it.? b)? Let means that we, each one of us, has control of brotherly love's continuance.

How to Serve the Volunteer Teams You LeadJacob FlemingThu, 03/28/2024 - 00:05 Nothing compares to the privilege of serving in the house of the Lord! My heart echoes David's: “For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness” (Psalm 84:10).Along with that privilege comes responsibility; and when that responsibility includes leading others, it is imperative that we have a plan. My pastor, mentor, and friend, Dr. Paul Chappell, says, “Churches struggle when they establish goals without a strategy and ministry without structure.” Unfortunately, many times our volunteer teams never reach their full potential because of a lack of structure.? Following are five simple principles that can help you serve the volunteer team you lead and establish a culture that promotes the forward momentum of God's work.? Strategically Recruit? To lead a volunteer team, we must first have willing and able volunteers. Some volunteers will do just that—volunteer. Others, we need to recruit. And then, we must have the wisdom to place each volunteer where they will have the most impact on a weekly basis.? As leaders, we should have a personal goal to set each volunteer up for success. One of the most helpful ways to know where specific volunteers will be successful is to learn what their spiritual and natural gifts are and then involve them in areas where their gifts will be put to the best use. In addition to gifting, different areas of ministry require different levels of oversight and discernment. For instance, stocking guest tables or preparing refreshments for an event wouldn't involve the extensive background checks verifying childcare workers would require.? The fact is, God has created every person precious and unique, fitted to serve Him. As ministry leaders, we want to help our volunteer teams reach their potential by serving in their naturally gifted areas. Generally speaking, it is much easier to take a little time and effort to discern the right position for a volunteer than it is to make an adjustment when someone is already actively serving in the position that you have (mistakenly) placed them in.Think, for example, of a church member volunteering for “whatever you need me to do.” At the moment, you happen to need door greeters for the first impressions team. This volunteer, however, has an introverted personality. Should you place this volunteer in the door greeter position? Most likely, that wouldn't be the best fit. But this volunteer could shine in many other areas. Perhaps they could still be on the first impressions team, but doing the work of stocking supplies, treats, etc. On the other hand, there may be more extroverted people who would be happier to greet, knowing that the more tedious work of stocking supplies is cared for.? Equip with Resources? As ministry leaders, we are to equip “the saints for the work of the ministry” (Ephesians 4:12). One of the greatest ways you can encourage your volunteer team to reach their potential is to equip them with the training and resources they need to excel in that specific ministry. Here are four areas in which you can equip your volunteers:? Job descriptions: Write out a purpose statement for each ministry with key responsibilities for each volunteer position. (The book Order in the Church by Paul Chappell has some helpful sample descriptions.) If you have not provided clear communication to a volunteer, don't get frustrated when they don't serve exactly how you desire.? Clear expectations: Volunteers want to be told what is expected. A great way to frustrate your volunteer team is to leave your expectations open-ended or fuzzy.? Contact information: If a volunteer has questions or an emergency on the day that they are serving, who do they call? Give them your phone number and the phone numbers of any other people they should turn to for help.Periodic training: Strategically schedule ministry meetings throughout the year during which you can provide further training. For instance, you may train your first impressions team three weeks before Easter so everyone has a fresh reminder of the ways to serve first-time guests.? Reward Regularly? It is impossible to encourage the wrong person. Volunteers sacrifice time and often finances to actively participate in serving our Lord. It's a good thing to recognize their sacrifice and encourage them to keep up the great work. Regular recognition can put wind in the sails of your team members. Here are some suggestions:Yearly: Recognize a ministry team in a Sunday night service.Quarterly: Write a thank you note with a candy bar.Monthly: Have a bite-size treat, waiting at their serving station.? Weekly: Verbalize your gratitude with a heart-felt “thank you.”Value the Team's Response? Your volunteer has strategically been placed, equipped with resources and training, and is feeling encouraged by serving. By now, there's a great chance that they have gleaned knowledge in their ministry and have ideas that can make their specific ministry even better. To be effective leaders, we must take the time to listen to their input.It's easy to receive compliments. But leaders are willing to receive complaints too. Make sure the compliments don't go to your head, and make sure to handle the complaints prayerfully and responsively.? Empower Responsibly? The purpose of delegation is not for you to do less, but for you to get more done effectively. The leader should always be watching for a volunteer team member that potentially could step up and help co-lead a part of the ministry. Be willing to share the ministry and allow well-trained volunteers to be empowered to help make decisions.? The person who builds by himself won't accomplish nearly as much as if he had a team of leaders helping him build. Can you imagine Nehemiah building the walls by himself? He would have ended up in the place many of us have found, or nearly found, ourselves: blown up, burned out, or quitting in discouragement. Build your volunteer team, and build with your volunteer team.It is my prayer that these five principles will encourage you as you serve your volunteer teams.? Strategically Recruit? Equip with Resources? Reward Regularly? Value the Team's Response? Empower Responsibly? Category Pastoral Leadership Ministry Resources Order in the Church Order in the Church Dr. Paul Chappell Guided by Grace Guided by Grace Dr. Paul Chappell Tags Local Church Church Service Leadership

Today's category: BlondesOne-Liners 1? ? ? ? ? ? Q: How do you confuse a blonde?? ? ? ? ? ? A: You don't. They're born that way!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Because it said "concentrate"!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Very Gifted!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: How can you tell a blonde has been using your computer?? ? ? ? ? ? A: There is white-out all over the computer screen!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: Why don't blondes have elavator jobs?? ? ? ? ? ? A: They don't know the route!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: How do blonde braincells die?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Alone!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Blow in her ear!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?? ? ? ? ? ? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: How do you really confuse a blonde?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?? ? ? ? ? ? A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Toes go in first!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Trying to hold on to a thought!? ? ? ? ? ? Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?? ? ? ? ? ? A: Third Grade!View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend