DEVELOPING STORY: A group of unidentified fraternity brothers are being praised for assisting police in removing Hamas tents at Arizona […]

Today's category: CopsDon't Say This To A Cop? ? ? ? ? ? 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.? ? ? ? ? ? 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in..? ? ? ? ? ? 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?? ? ? ? ? ? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!? ? ? ? ? ? 5. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?? ? ? ? ? ? 6. I pay your salary!? ? ? ? ? ? 7. So, uh, you on the take, or what?? ? ? ? ? ? 8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!? ? ? ? ? ? 9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.? ? ? ? ? ? 10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around-that's how far ahead of me they are.? ? ? ? ? ? 11. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of money from the bank robbery, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.? ? ? ? ? ? 12. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend

Today's category: DrunksGive Me A Push? ? ? ? ? ? A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over.? ? ? ? ? ? Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.? ? ? ? ? ? So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.? ? ? ? ? ? "Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"? ? ? ? ? ? "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened.? ? ? ? ? ? "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you," she says.? ? ? ? ? ? "Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter, and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"? ? ? ? ? ? "But the guy was drunk," says the husband.? ? ? ? ? ? "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please." So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts,? ? ? ? ? ? "Where are you?"? ? ? ? ? ? "I'm over here," the stranger replies, "on your swing."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend

Grote Reber's story is little known but important. Here it is again from 21 years ago.

Christian singer Olivia Lane Guyton shares her testimony of the moment she went from being an atheist to a Christ follower.

King Herod will sound familiar to anyone who's heard the Christmas story. King of Judea when Jesus of Nazareth was born, the ruler attempts to find and kill the baby after hearing that the “King of the Jews” has just...The post Was King Herod the Great really so ‘great'? What history says about the bad guy of the Christmas story appeared first on Baptist News Global.

by Phil Johnsonhis guy, angry that Grace Community Church yielded to the 9th Circuit Court's ruling banning church meetings in California this weekend, Tweets at me: "An unjust law need not be followed."I'm appalled at how many people who profess to believe Scripture echo that sentiment. Nero was emperor when Paul wrote Romans 13:1-7: "Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. . . ." First Peter 2:13 was written to people suffering unjustly. ("Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him...")Peter goes on to say: "Be subject . . . also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly" (vv. 18-19). Indeed, "to this [unjust suffering] you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps." (v. 21). When someone in authority over us treats us unjustly, the example we are to follow was set for us by Christ, who simply "continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly" (v. 23).The only exception to this principle is when the one in authority instructs us to sin. Then "we must obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29).So does a government-mandated quarantine ask us to violate Hebrews 10:25 ("not neglecting to meet together"), or is the quarantine in keeping with the principle of Leviticus 13-14, where quarantines are expressly mandated?The answer to that question may vary according to where we live. Quarantining people in the midst of a pandemic is a legitimate prerogative of government. How long the quarantine should last and who should be exempted are questions that don't have clear, fixed answers. The severity and duration of the pandemic determines what's reasonable or not. We may or may not agree with how the quarantine is being implemented (I certainly do not), but we have a clear duty to submit unless we are being asked to sin.How long until the government-ordered quarantine is undeniably excessive, or we conclude that it's targeted persecution against our worship and therefore an illegal attempt to make us disobey Hebrews 10:25? That time may come, and when it does, we may have to implement the principle of Acts 5:29. The question of whether we have already passed that point is another subjective issue, but it's clear that among believers—in the church itself—there is not yet consensus on whether the quarantine has gone too far.Nevertheless, if you hang out on Twitter or Facebook, you may have noticed that there are countless people in the evangelical community who refuse to regard any of the above questions as matters of conscience. They believe the answers are perfectly obvious. They are eager to tell you what you and your church ought to be doing. They are locked and loaded with vituperation for anyone who sees matters differently. Two camps of them have squared off against each other—hordes of angry Karens at opposite extremes, all of whom disagree with the position I've outlined above. Some of them are scolding us for thinking Romans 13 and 1 Peter 2 actually apply in today's circumstances. The others are berating us for wanting to resume public worship ASAP.Sorry, but in the words of Martin Luther, here I stand. I can do no other. I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. God help us.

See previous "Grace Notes" Newsletters In this edition: This Week's 2 New PowerPoint Sermons Memorial Day Section Grace Notes 5 Year Anniversary! First Timer Info. from Pastor Jerry: "5 years, and approaching 3 millions hits!  We never dreamed God  had this in store for us.  Please see a separate email we just sent you for details on how we are sharing this blessing with you subscribers in the form of our best discount ever.  God bless you and HIS ministry thru you there!" Just released: 5/6/09 - "Three Guys" - 1 Corinthians 3:1-17 There is the natural man, the supernatural [Spirit filled] man, and the unnatural [carnal] man. Which guy are you? "6 Things the Bible says to do to the Flesh." New section in progress!   5/10/09 - "Will the Real Mom Please Stand Up?" - 1 Kings 3:16-28 Only a mother's heart can have such a bond as this with a child.  Many funnies and great truths accompany this celebration of one of God's greatest gifts to mankind...Mother.     Help keep this ministry free by honoring our system... Please Choose: Recommend this week's featured sermon from 1 to 5 'stars' with just a click, then close.] Post a brief testimony about Grace Notes at SermonCentral Tell a Friend to Visit Or, do nothing, it's still free!  But many thanks go to those who take a second to advance the gospel message for God's glory!Memorial Day Section   Anniversary Sale!  Best Deal!           The Complete Collection [now save $700 for a limited time only!]   Now 80% off + another $20%!  [The new Rough Drafts Series has just been added for free thru this offer, below...] DO YOU HAVE 'THE COMPLETE COLLECTION'? 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Yesterday was a wonderful day of training, though Mike got food poisoning and ended up missing the evening session and losing the contents of his stomach! Poor guy. He has bounced back and is with us today!  We had no books until late in the day, so Pastor had to be creative. God helped him, [...]

Reasons churches don't ask clown ministries to return: 10.Pesky escaped balloons stuck to the Sanctuary ceiling for weeks after they've gone. 9.That cream pie