Lock Haven Pennsylvania (PA)

Seeking Pastor

Position: Bi-vocational Pastor

Today's category: Church SignsChurch Bloopers 1? ? ? ? ? ? 1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.? ? ? ? ? ? 2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.? ? ? ? ? ? 4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.? ? ? ? ? ? 5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.? ? ? ? ? ? 6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.? ? ? ? ? ? 7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.? ? ? ? ? ? 8) Ushers will eat latecomers.? ? ? ? ? ? 9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.? ? ? ? ? ? 10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.? ? ? ? ? ? 11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.? ? ? ? ? ? 12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."? ? ? ? ? ? 13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.? ? ? ? ? ? 14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."? ? ? ? ? ? 15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend

Friday, April 24th at 7pm Saturday, April 25th at 6pm Sunday, April 26th at 9:45am, 10:45am, and 5:30pm All are invited to attend and bring friends and family for this special weekend of services. Nursery will be provided for all services. Visitors are welcome and encouraged to attend. Directions and Accommodation information are ...

Get ready for outstanding music and terrific Bible preaching! Beginning Sunday, March 22 the Galkin Evangelistic Team will be ministering with music and Bible preaching to adults, teens, and  children.  There is something for each member of your family. Join us for one night or the whole week. There’s room for you!! A nursery is provided for all services as [...]