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My Retirement Plan

My Retirement Plan


NO NURSING HOME FOR me!!!



No nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a
Holiday Inn! With the average cost for a nursing home care costing £188.00
per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble. I've already
checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

For a combined long-term stay discount and senior
discount, it's £59.23 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy
hours in the afternoon.



That leaves £128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any
restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV
movies.


Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room,
a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.


Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free
shampoo and soap.
£5 worth of tips a day and you'll have the entire staff
scrambling to help you.



They treat you like a customer, not a patient.



There's a bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.




For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus
and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.



While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise,
the cash keeps building up.



It takes months to get into decent nursing homes.
Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.





And you're not stuck in one place forever -you can move
from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.



Want to see Scotland ? They have Holiday Inn there too.



TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress
replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the
inconvenience.






The Inn has a night security person and daily room
service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an
ambulance. . .or the undertaker.





If you fall and break a hip, NHS will pay for the hip,
and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.








And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to
find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.


The grand-kids can use the pool.

What more could I ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.



AIDS WARNING!

To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this
e-mail is especially for you......

SENIOR CITIZENS
ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

HEARING AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL AIDS

WALKING AIDS

MEDICAL AIDS

GOVERNMENT AIDS

MOST OF ALL,

MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

Not forgetting HIV

(Hair is Vanishing)



I'm only sending this to my 'old' friends.

I love to see you smile.













 


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