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Ridiculous Speed Sign

A Video Message to my County Commissioners about speed signs that are an apparent waste of taxpayers money...

Evangelist John R. Rice - When God Is Deaf (Pt. 3 of 3) John Richard Rice (December 11, 1895 - December 29, 1980) was a Baptist evangelist and pastor and the founding editor of The Sword of the Lord, an influential fundamentalist newspaper. John R. Rice was born in Cooke County, Texas in 1895, the son of
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Temple Baptist Church - 8-19-2018Matthew 6:19-24Introduction:A. Though there have always been spiritual distractions, we live in a day when these distractions have been multiplied. 1. Knowledge has increased. When I was young, people knew very little about what was going on in the next county, much less the world but were much happier. Today, all day news channels, proclaiming the evil of this present world, fill our hearts with care. Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (Careful – care full. To worry.)2. Technology has increased. When I was young, we drove and traveled less. We had party lines for phone service but were much happier. Today, everyone has an automobile and plenty of gasoline. They drive all day with cell phones in their hands. The more that we know, the more our minds become cluttered and priorities tend to change. We run “to and fro” in our daily lives with so many “voices” clamoring for our attention. The older that I get, the more single minded I get, and I do not mean that to be a positive thing.Daniel 12:4 But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, andknowledge shall be increased.3. Possessions have increased. When I was young, we had very little. Raised in a little coal mining town in Western Kentucky, we had old houses to live in, old cars to drive, few toys to play with (but great imaginations), no money to eat out with, few places to eat out in if we did have money but were much happier.Revelation 3:17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:4. Churches were full, and jails were empty. No one knew what a Psychiatrist was. We were so much happier. I often say that our children will never know the America that we grew up in. We loved God, America, and Apple Pie.5. “Happy Days” and “Leave It To Beaver” along with “The Andy Griffin Show” portrayed the times in which we lived. Times were simple, and people were happy. Today, our hearts are too often divided.B. As our heart is the seat of our affections, we need to prioritize our desires.Colossians 3:1-2 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. (2) Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.C. What is the result of having a Divided Heart?a. The Divided-Hearted Christian is Unstable – constantly in a state of change. James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.b. The Divided-Hearted Christian is not Useable. 2 Corinthians 11:3 But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.D. The word “mammon” is found 4x in your Bible and is always used in the sense of being a “god” in a person's life. Our text says to lay up treasure in heaven that are enduring instead of treasures upon earth that are temporal.E. What is the result of having a Single Heart?1. The Single Hearted Christian is Stable – not subject to change -Acts 2:46 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart,2. The Single Hearted Christian is Useable – 1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.F. How to be a Single Hearted Christian. 1. We Need To Long Right - Matthew 6:19-20 (Heavenly vs. Earthly Treasures) a. The Double Hearted Christian's Labor is in Vain.1) Earthly Riches Don't Last – 1 Corinthians 9:25 And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.2) Earthly Riches Bring Misery – James 5:1-3 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten. Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.b. The Double Hearted Christian's Labor is Temporal – Proverbs 23:5 Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven.c. The Single Hearted Christian's Labor is Eternal – John 6:27 Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed.d. The Single Hearted Christian's Labor is Rewarded – Hebrews6:10 For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.Revelation 14:13 And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them. 2. We Need To Looks Right - Matthew 6:22-23a. The Double Hearted Christian Looks to the World – Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that he may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.1) They Pattern themselves after Worldly Things – Ephesians2:2 Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:2) They Place their trust in Worldly Things – Psalm Now know I that the LORD saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God. They are brought down and fallen: but we are risen, and stand upright. 3) They Love Worldly Things – 1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.b. The Single Hearted Christian Looks unto Jesus - Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.1) The Single Hearted Christian Looks to Jesus in Supply – Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.2) The Single Hearted Christian Looks to Jesus in Service – Colossians 3:22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: 3) The Single Hearted Christian Looks to Jesus for his Satisfaction – Isaiah 58:11 And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. 3. We Need To Love Right – Matthew 24:24 a. The Double Hearted Christian Loves Mammon. 1) They Hate God and Love the World – Comparatively speaking. 2. They Despise God and Hold to the World – to think little or nothing of. b. The Single Hearted Christian Loves God. 1) They Love God and Hate the World – They keep His commandments, love the brethren.2) Holds to God and Despises the World – They esteem God highly and the World little. Conclusion: The solution to double heartedness – James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
Editor's Note: Social media is cracking down on Conservative content. To ensure you receive conservative and faith-based news items – click here for a free subscription to Todd's newsletter. An Arkansas law enforcement officer escaped injury after an illegal alien opened fire on his police cruiser. It happened in Washington County — near Fayetteville. The […]The post WATCH: Illegal Alien Opens Fire on Arkansas Police Officer appeared first on Todd Starnes.
Dear Friends,In this age marked by cultural brokenness and political division, it can be easy for Christians to shake our heads in resignation to this seemingly discouraging predicament and say, “God’s Kingdom is obviously not here right now.”Or is it? In the Gospel of Luke, the Pharisees ask Jesus when the Kingdom of God will come. He said in reply, “The coming of the Kingdom of God cannot be observed, and no one will announce, ‘Look, here it is,’ or, ‘There it is.’ For behold, the Kingdom of God is among you” (Luke 17:20-21).What does this mean? When Christ said these words in first century Judea, they would have caused great confusion amongst the Jews since it was clear from the Roman occupation of their ancestral land that there was certainly no “Kingdom” currently present. But Christ wasn’t speaking of the potential reign of an earthly king. He was asking those who were listening to realize that God’s Kingdom was right in front of them—in Christ’s own witness of love, mercy, and healing. He was asking them, and therefore all of us, to look into our hearts and see that whenever we act with love, compassion, and sacrifice, God’s Kingdom is literally “among” us.It should give us great encouragement to know that whenever we show Christ’s love to others, we are an ambassador for Christ’s Kingdom on earth. Keep in mind that showing love can take the form of seemingly small acts, such as simply giving encouragement to someone we encounter in our daily lives who seems like they are in need of a boost. Whenever we do any act of love, whether great of small, we bring God’s Kingdom in our midst.Thank you for your prayers and for your continued support of FRC and the family.Sincerely,Dan Hart Managing Editor for Publications Family Research Council FRC ArticlesEvangelicals Power Republicans to Senate Victories – David ClossonVoters Say ‘Full Steam Ahead’ On Judges – Travis Weber and Alexandra McPheeAmerica Deserves Better Than the Broward County Disaster – Ken BlackwellSchool Board Says Boys and Girls Have Different Brains — Except in the Bathroom – Cathy RusePost-Midterm optimism for religious freedom – Alexandra McPheeIs the Republican Senate Ready to Advance Pro-Life Policy? – Patrina MosleyThe Supreme Court can fix Establishment Clause jurisprudence with the Peace Cross case – Alexandra McPheeSpeaker Series: The Reality of Faith-Based Adoption ServicesTruth Obscured by Hollywood Take on Sexual Orientation Therapy – Peter SpriggMust the State Recognize All Identities? – Dan HartThe Times En-“genders” Controversy with Ignorance of “Sex” – Peter SpriggNotre Dame Students Take a Stand Against Porn – Patrina Mosley Religious LibertyReligious Liberty in the Public SquareSupreme Court's latest church-state conundrum: Must a 'peace cross' memorial to World War I vets come down? – Richard Wolf, USA TodayMuslims, the Bladensburg Cross, and the Preservation of Order – Ismail Royer, Public DiscourseProfessor Sues after University Requires He Use Student’s Preferred Pronoun – Jack Crowe, National ReviewTrump Administration Updates Conscience Exemptions for Contraceptive Mandate – National Catholic RegisterThe State of Hate – David Montgomery, The Washington PostChristian student senator at UC Berkeley harassed for abstaining from pro-LGBTQ vote – Caleb Parke, Fox NewsFordham University Political Science Department Mandates Use of Students’ ‘Preferred Pronouns’ – Alana Mastrangelo, BreitbartInternational Religious FreedomWhat you should know about the persecution of Kachin Christians – Joe Carter, Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission78 Kidnapped Cameroonian Students from Christian School Freed – Aliya Kuykendall, The StreamChristians Dragged Out of Cars and Beaten, Haunted With Fear as Asia Bibi Case Tears Pakistan Apart – Stoyan Zaimov, The Christian PostChristians, pray for your brothers and sisters in North Korea – Christopher Summers, Ethics & Religious Liberty CommissionAsia Bibi Leaves Pakistani Prison–Open Doors Calls for Urgent Prayer – Lindy Lowry, Open Doors USA LifeAbortionThe Point of Gosnell – Charlotte Allen, First Things6 claims of Planned Parenthood’s new president debunked – Kristi Burton Brown, Live ActionNew Planned Parenthood CEO: “I Plan to Expand” Abortions. We Have a “Moral Imperative” to Kill Babies – Micaiah Bilger, LifeNewsPro-life ballot measures win passage in two of three states – Valerie Richardson, The Washington TimesAdoptionPhiladelphia foster families continue fight for Catholic Social Services – Perry West, CAN3 ways your church can participate in orphan care and prevention – Brittany Salmon, Ethics & Religious Liberty CommissionBioethicsCanadian Doctors Get Ready for Child Euthanasia – Wesley J. Smith, National Review FamilyMarriageHow Expectations Affect One's Happiness in Marriage – Dianne Grande, Psychology TodayWhen the Military Takes a Toll on Your Marriage: Reflections on 'Indivisible' – Gary Chapman, Military.comMen and Women: Should We Just Call the Whole Thing Off? – Rachel Lu, The American ConservativeOne Couple's Fight to Honor God With Their Bakery – Benjamin Hawkins, Focus on the Family37.8 Percent in Generation That Starts Turning 21 Next Year Was Born to Unwed Moms – Terence P. Jeffrey, CNS NewsParentingHow to Respond When Your Kids Are Bullied – Jonathan McKee, Focus on the FamilyMothers Against Macron – Joy Pullmann, First ThingsI’m Raising an Old Soul And It’s Such a Gift – Heidi Hamm, HerViewFromHomeMaking of a Mom: How Motherhood Helped my Anxiety Disorder – Casey McCorry, VerilyNew Findings Add Twist to Screen Time Limit Debate – Jean Twenge, Family StudiesPodcast: Your Teenager Needs Discipleship – Jen Wilkin and Melissa Kruger, The Gospel CoalitionVideo: How is spiritual warfare involved in parenting? – Phillip Bethancourt, Ethics & Religious Liberty CommissionHow to Be a Kindness Role Model for Your Kids – Dale V. Atkins and Amanda R. Salzhauer, Greater Good MagazinePostpartum Depression and the Christian – Kathryn Butler, The Gospel CoalitionEconomics/Education9 Years Into Common Core, Test Scores Are Down, Indoctrination Up – Joy Pullmann, The FederalistThe Wealth of Nations Begins at Home – W. Bradford Wilcox, Family StudiesYour Family, Your Choice – Oren Cass, Family StudiesFaith/Character/Culture10 ways your unsatisfied life is a blessing – Amy Simpson, Ethics & Religious Liberty CommissionHonoring the ‘Invisible Work Force’ of Family Caregivers – Amy Ziettlow, Family StudiesHow to Love People You Don’t Like – Greg Morse, Desiring GodCultural winsomeness will not be enough for Christians – Andrew T. Walker, Ethics & Religious Liberty CommissionIn An America This Ignorant, It’s No Wonder We Struggle To Stay Free – Stella Morabito, The FederalistI Cremated My Unborn Son – Tish Harrison Warren, Christianity Today8 Signs Your Christianity Is Too Comfortable – Brett McCracken, The Gospel CoalitionA Fresh Perspective on Joy – Liberty McArtor, The Stream'Remarkable' decline in fertility rates – James Gallagher, BBC NewsHuman SexualityWhere to Find Hope and Help amid the Sexual Revolution – Sam Allberry, The Gospel CoalitionKissing Purity Culture Goodbye – Abigail Rine Favale, First ThingsWhat ‘The New York Times’ Gets Wrong on the ‘Transgender Memo’ – Andrew T. Walker, The Gospel CoalitionJesus Befriended Prostitutes. So This Victorian-Era Woman Did Too. – Kimi Harris, Christianity Today‘Boy Erased’ Suggests Sexual Desire Can’t Change, So Religion Must – Brett McCracken, The Gospel CoalitionWhere Angels Fear to Tread: The Fraud of Transgenderism – Babette Francis and John Ballantyne, Public DiscoursePornographyThe Problems of Pornography: Sexual Dysfunction and Beyond – Freda Bush, Focus on the Family
The results of an election can reveal the character and heart of a people. And this most recent election, at least in the state of California, didn't reveal a heart for God or loyalty to Christian values. Our newly-elected governor was, fourteen years ago, the first mayor to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples in California. This week, the opening sentence of an LA Times article quipped, “Gavin Newsom's election as governor of California is expected to shift state politics and policy even further to the left after eight years under the leadership of Gov. Jerry Brown.”Recent laws passed in our state have created increasing discomfort for Christians who believe in the sanctity of marriage, the life of the pre-born, and even the role of biblical values in society. Indeed, California and many other parts of America have more of a European flavor politically and religiously than ever before. But although this is a developing path for the United States, it is not new in world history. The psalmist talks about the depth of depravity to which those who are anti-God go. And if the intensity of vitriol that sometimes accompanies their insistence on a position seems disproportionate to the occasion, there is a reason. It often is not simply a single matter or viewpoint at hand, but a decision to rage against God Himself. Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying, Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.—Psalm 2:1–3As Christians, during these times, we pray with the psalmist for deliverance from oppression, an opposition which I believe will only increase until the coming of the Lord: “Deliver me from the oppression of man: so will I keep thy precepts” (Psalm 119:134).Although times like these can be discouraging for a Christian whose focus is solely on experiencing comfort in this life, this is a short-sighted viewpoint. When we are living as Spirit-filled Christians, these can be exciting times to see God work in unusual and significant ways.In fact, two of the great men of the Old Testament whose stories we remember often—Joseph and Daniel—were both surrounded by political and spiritual depravity of the worst sort. It was against that backdrop that their lives made such a profound difference. So, rather than being discouraged with the results of this past election, I choose to be grateful.I am thankful because…1. God Is Faithful in Every GenerationO give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.—Psalm 118:29Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.—Psalm 90:1–2The first-century Roman empire was far more corrupt and pagan than the United States today, yet the gospel flourished and spread through its entirety. 2. The Mission of God's People Never ChangesAnd he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.—Mark 16:15My goal as a pastor is not to be overly concerned about red states and blue states. My goal is to preach the crimson red blood atonement of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. When people are redeemed by His blood and inhabited by the Holy Spirit, their worldview will change. But until they know the Lord, the biblical worldview will not make sense anyway. While election results intrigue me, as a Christian, my task does not change from season to season. I need to be ready to share Christ with a spirit of love and compassion today.3. Our Mission Is ObviousNow while Paul waited for them at Athens, his spirit was stirred in him, when he saw the city wholly given to idolatry.—Acts 17:16Rather than being surrounded by professing and often carnal Christians, we have masses of unconverted heathen people in our state. If you lived in a county that was surrounded by hundreds of Baptist churches, you might not even think you need to actively look for ways to witness. But here, you can't help but see the need. A mature believer in California does not view his life as one dedicated to aerospace advancements, a hospital, or a law enforcement agency. He sees these as a vocation and certainly does his best, but he knows his higher calling is to be a light for Jesus in those places. This is a time to consider whether we will respond with flight or fight to the challenges in California. Will we flee discomfort? Or will we, not combatively but with a soulwinner's heart, have a spirit to take the Sword of the Spirit and stand for truth? The opportunity to do so has never been greater. 4. The Sovereignty of God Is Over AllThe LORD is high above all nations, and his glory above the heavens.—Psalm 113:4Behold, the nations are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance: behold, he taketh up the isles as a very little thing…. All nations before him are as nothing; and they are counted to him less than nothing, and vanity.—Isaiah 40:15, 17I don't have to wring my hands in apprehension over the future because I know the King of kings and Lord of lords. No, we aren't promised a life of ease and comfort, free of persecution. But we are promised God's peace and comfort, and we can rest in knowing that He isn't surprised or disabled by an election.5. Revival Is an Ever-present PotentialWherefore should the heathen say, Where is now their God? But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.—Psalm 115:2–3Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee?—Psalm 85:6Frankly, for states like California and New York, as well as a growing number of other places across our land, revival may seem completely impossible. But it may be the complacency of Christians that is to blame. Perhaps now Christians will ponder the need for prayer, seeking the Lord, and humbling ourselves. These are the choices to which God responds with His grace. 6. The Natural Beauty of God's Creation Surrounds UsLet the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof. Let the field be joyful, and all that is therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice.—Psalm 96:11–12From the giant sequoias to the redwoods to the expansive deserts to the sandy beaches and cliff-lined coasts to the Sierra Nevada Mountains, California is breathtakingly beautiful. And it all points to God as the creator and sustainer who is worthy of our honor and praise. 7. The Lord Is on Our SideI called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place. The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?—Psalm 118:5–6When you're involved in politics, you always want the most persuasive, influential, or powerful person on your side. And when “the other side” has such a person, you cringe. As Christians, we have the Lord on our side. Sometimes we forget it, and sometimes we forget the significance of it. But He is always there, and we have no need to fear.8. The Local Church Will ContinueAnd I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.—Matthew 16:18I'm thankful for the local church. In particular, I'm thankful for Lancaster Baptist Church—a place where God has allowed me to pastor for over thirty-two years and where I joyfully serve to this day. The assembly of believers is to be a place where we focus on the Lord, have a haven of rest, and pray and prepare to reach the lost with the gospel. As our culture becomes increasingly hostile toward God and biblical truths, the church should mean more to us today than ever. 9. Our Weather Is TerrificIn every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.—1 Thessalonians 5:18I'm thankful I will not shovel snow to get to work this winter. And I'm thankful that I will enjoy an average of 284 sunny days out of the 365 this year. (There are several reasons California is the most populated state in the nation, and weather is definitely one of them.) 10. Laborers Are Being Trained to Take the Gospel to CaliforniaTherefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest.—Luke 10:2Jesus had one prayer request—gospel laborers for the harvest. And here in northern Los Angeles county, of all places, I get to be involved in training some of these laborers at West Coast Baptist College. Not only are there WCBC graduates planting churches in dozens of countries around the world, but there are thirty who are currently pastoring in California, many of which are church planters. Everywhere I preach outside of California, people criticize our state—its policies, media, political agenda, legislation, and even the way churches do ministry. I would remind our friends across the country, you'll never see a monument to a critic. Rather than pointing out our challenges, why not come help us and be part of the solution? Pray for us, come share the gospel with us, and come plant more churches. In fact, I invite any student or recent graduate from another Bible-believing Baptist college or any pastor serving in an area that is surrounded by other churches to call my office regarding opportunities for church planting here in California, as well as the opportunity for Lancaster Baptist to support you in planting a church here.11. Our Citizenship Is in HeavenFor our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ:—Philippians 3:20These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.—Hebrews 11:13We can get so focused on local, state, and national government that we forget who our King is. Although I believe that we as Americans should take advantage of the extraordinary privilege we have to be engaged in our government and its processes, we must guard against thinking of this world as our home. We are but strangers and pilgrims here, and we have a better Home coming. Back in the 1700s, there were a group of people who were known for the fact that, not just a few but all of the church considered themselves missionaries. Laymen surrendered themselves by the hundreds to go to far away places, including the Caribbean, North and South America, the Arctic, Africa, and the Far East to carry the gospel. If we today would have the godly depth and maturity of these Moravian missionaries, we who live in California would see the opportunities around us for the gospel as nothing more than a privilege. We would see what a great blessing it is to be living in the midst of millions of people needing a Saviour. If, however, we begrudge living in California (or wherever you may be living today), we should apologize to the missionaries we send to China, where it is illegal to hand out a gospel tract. We should apologize to the churches in Malaysia, where to simply give out a printed copy of the gospel would mean your hand would be cut off; and Iran, where a Christian would be imprisoned for the same offense. May we instead, as mature Christians filled with the Holy Spirit, serve God graciously and witness for Christ passionately where we are in the days ahead.
Today's category: LoveCan't Go Through The Woods A man was going to the county fair one day with a pig under one arm and a chicken under one arm, and a basket on his head. He came to a crossroads and didn't know which way to turn. While he stood there deciding, a young woman approached him, heading the same direction. "Please, ma'am, I'm on the way to the county fair. Can you tell me which way to go?" "Yes," she replied. "I'm on my way there, too. We'll go right down this way about a mile, turn left about a mile and a half, left again about a mile and we're right there." He said, "Wait a minute... down here, turn left and left again? Couldn't we save a lot of time by walking through these woods?" She replied, "Yes, we could. But I couldn't walk through those woods with you. Why... you might try to kiss me!" "Listen," he said, "how could I possibly kiss anybody with a pig under one arm, a chicken under one arm and a basket on my head?" "Well," she replied, "you could put that chicken on the ground, turn the basket upside down over the chicken, and I could hold that little bitty ole pig."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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