Today's category: Church SignsChurch Bloopers 1? ? ? ? ? ? 1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.? ? ? ? ? ? 2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.? ? ? ? ? ? 4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.? ? ? ? ? ? 5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.? ? ? ? ? ? 6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.? ? ? ? ? ? 7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.? ? ? ? ? ? 8) Ushers will eat latecomers.? ? ? ? ? ? 9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.? ? ? ? ? ? 10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.? ? ? ? ? ? 11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.? ? ? ? ? ? 12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."? ? ? ? ? ? 13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.? ? ? ? ? ? 14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."? ? ? ? ? ? 15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend

Church Recycling? Trying to do my share to help the environment, I set up a trash basket at my church and posted above it this suggestion: "Empty water bottles